Discovery Channel: I Love the World

He Loves Me So Good and This Beautiful World

I love my husband. I love my husband dearly. Lately times has been tough for me. Not with my husband, but just in life in general. I have recently parted ways with a very dear friend and this has taken a terrible emotional toll. I try to "shake" it off and let it roll off my back like Ry suggests but I have never been good at that. However, the purpose of this blog isn't to lament the lost of who I thought was my best friend but rather to sing the praise of my husband.

My husband Ryan always seems to know the right thing to say when I'm blue. I have had a hard life. I'm not being facetious, it's just the truth and when I fall into "victim" mode he is always there with the perfect thing to say to lift me back out. He calms my fears when I doubt and he loves me so good. That statement was made by a wise lady named Sharron Huffstutler and though it is rife with grammatical error it truly describes my husband. He loves me so good.

Lately Ry has been out of town more days than in town. I have struggled with loneliness and anger, but Ry does the best he can to make me feel dear to him. It is a testament of his ability to love me so good that I don't worry or fret when he's out of town. I trust him and that is a miracle. He completes me. My life is just better because he is in it. I am truly glad to have made him my husband.

On a different track, life has been pretty routine lately. It's been a lot of reading, working, and cleaning. Saturday (June 14th) I was able to visit bridal veil falls. I am amazed at how much better shape I am in than when I first moved here and that short hike nearly did me in. Standing by the waterfall and looking through the canyon was a spiritual experience to me. I know that my Heavenly Father is a god of love. NO being could create this beautiful and awe inspiring world and not feel the deepest of love.

I am happy, I am on the right path, and I am in love.

The first 30 days of change

Hello one and all!

So I found a website that I wanted to share. http://www.thefirst30days.com/. It is a site that is designed to help people to change. Lately I have found myself in the typical newly wed "now what" syndrome. Honestly, I think that there should be a study done on the phenomenon. It has happen to me twice and to many others that I know so It is a really thing. As Ry and I approach our 3 month wedding anniversary and a bit farther out our year anniversary of dating we have both found ourselves in the "now what" stage. To explain it is when the hoopla of getting and being married dies down and life starts being...real. It's so seductive to wonder what is next. And being who we are, namely Mormons, our thoughts turn to children.

Now to set the record straight I can not wait until I am a mother. I think about my future children like they are here. I have their names and I even "know" what they are going to look like. However, I dream about my children because they are my future not because I want to start reproducing now. So the "now what" stage is really dangerous, because I don't want to rush the future. I want to live in the present.

That is where this website comes into the picture. This website helps to guide you through the first 30 days of many life changes. For example the two life changes that I chose to work on is getting in shape and becoming happier. I have spoken about becoming happier in previous posts and getting in shape has been a long time goal of mine. Having this resource to keep me going is such a godsend. I suggest that everyone go and check it out. Change happens, that's one of the axioms of life, but it doesn't have to be all that hard. This a wonderful site to help with that.

So my goals are to become a happier, less cynical more fit kick butt person!! I know that I can do it because I want it! And my life has brought me to this place for a reason. I have been given the tools for my situation and I will live my life on purpose!!

Juno and my humble musings

Hello all!

This weekend I finally got to see Juno! Such a great movie! I have heard many different opinions but I loved it for its accurate betrayal of teenage pregnancy and the stigma attached to it. Teenage pregnancy while regrettable and should not be encouraged sometimes happens. Everyone makes mistakes and there are no reasons to judge others for having their mistakes so prominently displayed. To me anything that brings the miracle of life into the world couldn't have been a "mistake." I cannot believe that with astronomical odds each fertilized egg has to making it to babyhood. I loved how Juno showed an intelligent young woman who made the right decision when faced with the consequence of her actions. It was also very refreshing to see movie parents be....real, idealized but real. I enjoyed this movie very much. I would recommend it to people teenagers and up.

I have been thinking of babies lately. It's natural I live in UT and there are about 5,000,000 babies per ward ;) Kidding kidding. But now that Ry and I are in a family ward its really hard for us to not get caught up in that baby craze. My guess is that all it's going to take is a good ol calling in nursery and primary to cure that ;) No, I don't imagine I'll be having Ry's babies anytime soon; but it's nice to think about. And never before have I felt that this is the right guy for 100%. Hmmmmm...well when they come I know that they will be extremely lucky kids to have a father like they will have. :D

Summer is now taking a break again, and it will be chilly for the next week. I knew that it couldn't last. Le sigh...I'm so ready for summer! I should learn to be grateful for the days that I have...not wish for different. Take Care...

Spring Musings and Thoughts on Life

So finally Spring has arrived! This Utah winter was the toughest that I have ever been through. It just kept going and going. I have to say that I did not really enjoy it and even grumbled and threatened to move a few time. Honestly, I have to say that I miss Alabama weather very much so. It snowed last week, that's right snowed in May and I have to say I was quite bitter about it.

The flowers are finally blooming in Utah and I think I have convinced my husband to plant one of my favorite trees whenever we can. It's called a tulip magnolia tree and I first saw it planted by the Birmingham Alabama temple. It's a beautiful tree that blooms in the spring with these gorgeous pink and white blooms. The funny thing about a long hard winter is that it helps you appreciate the spring all the more. I feel so blessed to be able to see Utah thaw out.

I want to offer my thoughts and prayers for the two enormous tragedies that occurred in Asia recently. The cyclone that hit Myanmar caused so much damage to an already impoverished people. I truly hope that their government will step up and allow international aid. I also want to offer my condolences to those unfortunate people in China. With all the China bashing that has been going on before the Olympics it was really easy to forget that they are people. I read a story on MSNBC speaking about parents grieving for their children and I guess that's when the epiphany hit me. It's so easy as a person to get so wrapped up in patriotism and stereotypes fed to us by society that we begin to believe that we are the only ones with the human emotions. When that is just not the case. We are all indelible spirits that love. I think that is what should matter most, love and families. How can we think people are THAT different from us if we all love?

So in closing I want to share a secret that really sparked my imagination. This has inspired me to make my life treat my life with a sense of wonder and to share it with those that I love best.

Being Happy

I just want to talk today about being happy. Those who knows me know that I sometimes struggle with the blues; especially after 2007. But I have made a decision, I am going to be happy. I have an amazing life! I am married to an amazing man. A man who calls his parents...at home...and when they answer asks if they are home. ;) I have a great home that is so cute and pretty and just perfect for us. I have wonderful friends, without them I have no idea where I would be. Life Is Good! So all of you who know and love me, help me to be more upbeat and enthusiastic. Who says that you have to grow up to be a cynic?

I have been reading the Work and the Glory series by Gerald Lund. I really enjoy these books, they are very different from my usual fair. They are books based on the restoration of the gospel, a sort of historical fiction that weaves in a family through the beginning of the restoration and through the Mormon history. This book has helped my faith really come alive. Learning about the time period has helped me to understand the hardships of the restoration. I hope that if the time should ever come that I will have the faith of those described in this narrative.

Ryan is working night shift this week. I miss him so and it seems that we are never to be comfortable either sleeping with each other or without. I think its funny cause when we sleep alone we sleep on the same side of the bed...well I sleep on his. It makes me miss him less. Hopefully we will still get to see each other some today. I lover him so. We got to drive to Mt. Pleasant together yesterday, a 3 hr round trip, and just spending that time with him reinforces how much I love and cherish him. He's a character for sure and we just fit together for sure. Just look at him, how could you not love that!!

Finally I wanted to leave you with this quote. Imagine life if none of us would forget what we are capable of...

I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous,or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,but because it never forgot what it could do.— Naomi Shihab Nye, "Famous"

New Job and book reviews.

To all those waiting on the edge of your seats, I have a new job. It's with Practical People Services in Orem. I really enjoy it. I provide HR expertise (well hopefully soon anyway) to clients from CA mostly. The work is really satisfying and it's a good leg up in my career. I like helping people and that's what I get to do all day long!

So Ryan has been out of town for the past 9 days now. Let me tell you, it is not fun when you have been married for less than 2 months and then he has to go out of town. Of course my heart goes out to those people in the military where this is their life. Well Ry has been in Denver and I have had to occupy my time. So I reverted back to my teenage self. I have read about 6 books (2 of them twice). So here are my thoughts about the most memorable.

Killing Time by Caleb Carr

I really enjoy Caleb Carr novels. Well I own two so that says something. He writes believable American Historical Fiction. In the Alienest and The Angel of Darkness he was able to weave these larger than life historical figures such as Teddy Roosevelt (one of my fav. presidents) and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, the women's rights leader. I have read them multiple times and re read them about once a year (two or three for Angel of Darkness, its that good). So considering this literary foundation I approached Killing Time with great hope. This novel is completely different however. It is based in the future, which is once again very appealing. Carr's view of the future is surprisingly depressing and very relevant in this time. Being written in 1999 though, I am sure that he had an inkling of this time as well. The book was interesting...but the end seemed hurried like he had grown weary of his literary creation. All in all I was disappointed in the lack of depth given to the characters and the almost too neat conclusion to the book. Though his thoughts on the freedom of information is fascinating and something to give consideration to.

Brother Odd by Dean Koontz

I am such a fan of Odd Thomas. With this character Koontz has created a friend, a person that reaches into the reader and touches something good and pure. Odd Thomas is what solidified my respect for Koontz who publishes many books. In this latest installment Koontz explored in greater detail Odd's love for the weak, the abused, and the helpless. I love Odd Thomas. Koontz writing is at its best when a main character that you can love is at the helm of the plot. The Face and Life Expectancy is two other characters that you can love. I would suggest the Odd Thomas series and these others to anyone. The best thing about books written by Koontz is that you know that good is going to triumph and often with panache, wit, and hope.

Ok so I ended writing many things about those two books. The others that I read were still great but not as memorable. Some honorable mentions are Beauty bu Sheri Tepper and The Oracle Glass (which I am not finished with) by Judith Merkle Riley. Both have strong female lead characters and I happen to have read Beauty about 10 times.

Life is so good right now. My new ward is finally starting to unfreeze just a little. I have started meeting people in my Relief Society. And I have been called as a visiting teacher which will be a big help in meeting people. I miss my husband. The tenants moved out from downstairs so its literally been me and Goliath (my Shitztsu). Ry gets home tomorrow so please put good thoughts out there that he will arrive safe and early :)

For your delight here is another wedding pic created by Brie !! Until next time

Changes Are A Happenin To Me

So My life has undergone some major changes lately! I got married on March 7th, 2008 to the man of my dreams. (gag) Ok back to reality. Married life has been wonderful and I don't doubt that I did the right thing. I mean look at him.

Could I love him more! :P Hey! He asked for it. Being married has been awesome. We really do fit together and get along very well. Our honeymoon in balmy St. George was great too! I really enjoyed seeing other parts of Utah and was really happy that I got to spend a whole week just me and him. It was lovely.

Other changes, I am no longer working at ZYTO. Yeah that pretty much sucks. I worked there for a week after my honeymoon and was pulled in by three members of the senior management who all have been there less time than me and told me that my department was being outsourced. Outsourcing sucks!! And that they had no room for me anymore so with a semi-generous severance paskage I left ZYTO.

Fast forward to today, I have found a job. It looks to be a great job and one that I can springborad into a lot of other things. I really want to find time and take some writing courses. My time with ZYTO has shown me that I love to create and writing may be my medium. I don't expect to be crazy famous or anything but it is something that I love. So I want to develop it. I guess my blog would be a good place to start ;) Of course to be a serious writer i must refrain from using smileys. :P Ooops.

I start my new position tomorrow morning. I'm not really that nervous yet. I think I will make a good fit. I seem to hit it off well with the English because now two of my employers have been from Great Britain. I will be a human resource representative to people in California. Its a steady growing job that I am sure I will enjoy for years to come. (Hopefully)

I am going to closes by adding a few more pictures from my wedding. I haven't gotten the "official" pictures yet but I am sure that they are coming soon!!

It's Almost Here

K Guys so here is my awesome invite! You are totally invited!! The reception is going to be fun! I have approximately ten days until I become Jessica A. McGraw. I have to say that I am supremely grateful and humbled by how awesome my life is. See him, isn't he just so so cute!! And let me jsut tell you how patient he is. He puts up with all my issues and still comes back for more. I could not imagine a better eternal companion. :) Ok before I get mushy...

I had my bachelorette party Friday nite! It was so much fun, my friends and I would spend a bachelorette party talking about politics and religion. I have to say that I am the most blessed person to have such great friends. Even tho I will never be able to eat bubbliscious again without thinking about it...I had so much fun.

So keep me in your prayers and soon I will post Bridals that I got last week :) Most were pretty good but to give you a hint it was very very snowy...ill even include some of the what was i thinking shots. ;)

Engagement Pics

Hi!! I wanted to share with you some of our engagement pictures!! So here they are...

This is at centennial park in American Fork. Its amazing what little gems you find on the off-roads. Its so gorgeous.

Notice how proud he is!! He's a cutie...and i have to say it pretty darn strong.

Ok well there are a lot more but I don't want to bore! You will have to wait to see the invites!! :D