The Solution to "Perfection" Blues

An Old Picture but doesn't she look happy!

I am writing a plethora of posts today to make up for my blogging negligence.  I read an blog post on perfection recently that really spoke to me.  That post can be found here http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/disease-called-perfection.html.  Basically the article summed up how I have been feeling lately in my life.  Since I last wrote, I have moved, lost a really good friend, and become the wife of someone who works two jobs.  It's been busy to say the least.  I have really felt overwhelmed to be better, to strive for that perfection that it seems like everyone else has.  This article helped me put it in perspective. 

I struggle with inadequacy, and that struggle makes me even more likely to fail.  It's a bitter never ending cycle. There's a post on hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com that makes describes this struggle perfectly.  I warn you there is some language.  You can find it here. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html.  I burn myself out because I make all these goals and "life altering changes" and it's so hard to change.  I reach my threshold for change pretty quickly and pretty soon my house is a mess again, I leave the house without makeup, and eat nutella by the spoonful. 

The perfection post made a point that I need to internalize that to be better I need to admit my problems, admit my struggles and be real.  Reading the comments for his post made me realize that I'm not alone and I should be proud that I am a part of humanity, everyone makes mistakes and everyone needs something or someone else.  This brings to my mind the atonement.  I can't hold onto my idea of "perfection" and take part of the atonement.  I cannot try to make myself perfect and fully take part in the sacrifice of the Savior.  If I have picked up a bad habit since joining the LDS faith is that I have forgotten how much grace, the Savior's grace, has to make me perfect.  Perfection in the eyes of society is impossible and even more impossible to obtain is in both the eyes of society and perfection  in the Gospel.  I need to prioritize and learn one of the most important gospel principles. It's found in my favorite book, the Book of Mormon, 2nd Nephi 2:25: Adam fell that men might be, men are that they might have joy.

There's the answer to "perfection"...joy.  I resolve here and now to have more joy, spread more joy, and give more joy.  I will fully take part of the atonement so that I can one day obtain the only perfection that matters.  I am going to be researching this idea and trying to find ways of fostering more joy.  This is a wonderful forum for a discussion on what joy is how to find.  Please leave a comment on what gives you joy and helps to deal with the "impefections" in your life. 

Until next time, and it won't be months and months.  Bask in the joy of being alive and Autumn.

Latest Pics

Here are just a few pics from the summer. I had to take a little break from blogging. Life has been super stressful and crazy. I am ready to return and I will once again dazzle the internet with my musings and stories of toddlerdom.

Chance to Win Your Own Christmas Gift!

I haven't written in a long time. Life has changed so much that I don't know where to begin. I did want to mention this webpage to make Christmas crafts. I am in a craft group and I want to make something Christmas-ey. I really like the ideas at http://www.craftbits.com/christmas-crafts. There's so many to choose from and I am so excited to get started!

One Year Old

One year ago today my wonderful daughter was born. I cannot even describe the love and joy she has brought into my life. I've been spending all morning reliving the miracle that was her entrance into this world. The waking up anxious knowing that this morning I was going to meet my child. The jittery anxiety that I felt getting dressed in the hospital gown and being prepped for surgery. The sheer joy I heard at that first cry and seeing her for the first time. I treasure my child. The love I have for her surpasses my understanding.

Loralei took three steps yesterday. Three steps into my arms. I am so proud of all the things she is learning and doing. This is it this is the joy I've been searching my whole life for. I love my family and I am truly grateful. Truly my cup overfloweth.

Now here are some pics.

Wow It's Been Awhile

It is April 12th already! I can't believe that Loralei is 11 months. Here is a run down of the things she can do now

1. She can stand, but only when no one is looking or cheering or generally paying attention to her in any way. She "accidentally" stands and the look on her face is priceless.
2. She waves all the time everywhere. She loves going thru WalMart just waving.
3. She gives high fives! Well holds up her hands to let you give her a high five.
4. She knows ALL of Pattey-Cake and loves to "toss it in the oven," tho my personal favorite is when she "rolls it and rolls it."
5. She can say "Bomp Pa" for grandpa, MumMum for me, Dad-Dat for her daddy, "Whaz-dat or Whoz -dat" for what's or who's that, and "NA NA NA" for ninny or breastfeeding, and many more I can't seem to remember right now.

She's such a blessing to have around. She is in to everything and pulls everything out every chance she gets tho I wouldn't have it any other way. She's learning so much.

About non-Rory related news. Ryan and I had our tow year anniversary. It is wonderful being married to the person Heavenly Father deemed just for you. :) We went to St. George and we have a few pics that I will upload later. Sorry this will be a picture-less post. :(

Easter was wonderful. Also, I have lost down to pre wedding weight. Woohoo for me! My life has been so completely blessed and I'm so grateful that I have been blessed with all I have. I can't end this post without talking about the awesomeness that was General Conference. We are so blessed as a church to hear from our prophet twice a year and this session was so meaningful to me. I loved Sister Beck's talk and admire her courage. I believe that the messages were so beautiful and encouraging. I'm glad that I am a mother in Zion truly.

Until next time, please take care!

Photos and Updates

Here are some pics that I promised. We are hanging in here waiting for our St. George trip to come around. It's going to be a blast! Loralei is 9 months old and she is crawling and trying really hard to walk. She's growing up way too fast.

I am still on my weight loss program tho I've hit a plateau and have been around the 20 lb mark for two months now. I'm recommitting myself to losing 35lbs. before summer.

We can't wait for Spring and are having so so much fun being parents and living life.

Crawling! And what I'm looking at...

Rory Roo is crawling! She pretty much started two days ago and now no room or low shelf is safe from...The Ravager! LOL She is so funny she followed me to the shower yesterday and was knocking on the door. Part of me is so excited that Loralei is crawling where as the other part of me is so sad that I've lost my immobile baby. They truly grow up so fast.

So most now I work at home on the internet 4 hours a day. I love my job and I am truly blessed to have it. It does how ever give me the opportunity to be online more than maybe someone else. I have have found some truly hilarious site. I suggest you check out the Sleep Talkin' Man. Warning this site has some language but as a fellow sleep talker his nite time ramblings crack me up. I also like mentalfloss.com. It's a site for knowledge junkie and has all sorts of articles that I love to read everyday. Also, if you don't already be sure to check out fark.com. It's a site for all the news and "notnews" of the day with a sarcastic slant.

No pics this time. Will upload some soon.

And now we have video!!

Ok so this is Rory. I know this is strange but I was trying to get her to yell. She does a little and it's adorable. I will get better on the camera work! I promise!

20 Pounds Down!!

Wooohooo! I have officially lost 20 pounds! My diet is going well, I have to thank breastfeeding and my Wii Fit for providing me with the means to work off more calories.

Loralei and I are recovering from a cold. I can't stand being sick. This cold was a doozy. I wonder why I get so sick when I'm exposed to less germs being at home. It's really true kids are grubby little germ carriers. I read recently that scientists now believe that your appendix is used for a warehouse of sorts for your immune system. Maybe that's my problem! My immune system has no back up storage!

We went to the car show on Saturday to celebrate Ry's birthday. That boy better love me! 4.5 hours of looking at cars with a cold. We found some cars that we really like tho. We really like the Chevy Traverse. It's really roomy and the seats fold down like a breeze. The next our list is the Ford Explorer but their seats are really tough to get down and behind. There's like 3 steps and I don't think any child would bother with all three steps. The Chevy Traverse is also a good bit cheaper and really nice inside. I would love for that to be my next car.

Here are some pictures that I haven't posted.

Christmas, Rory's first Winter

I'm sorry for the blogging delay. I have been diligently blogging on my weight loss blog and things have been so crazy busy and add a penchant for laziness and you have my lack contributing. We took Christmas pictures of Loralei. I hand-made that tutu. It was pretty easy, I did make it afterall and we had such a good time getting Rory to mug for the camera. Here are some pics of all of us around the holidays. The last pic is of me and Rory walking around the neighborhood. It's about 30 degrees Fahrenheit on average everyday. So I will rig her up in her sling and put my coat on over her. We walk all around the neighborhood and it makes me so happy to get out and get some sunshine. Life is wonderful Our new year's resolutions are still going strong. And I have lost over 16.5 pounds since starting my diet.

For Christmas we got a Wii Fit and we have so much fun with it. I can tell I am getting fitter. Ryan got me a gorgeous necklace and out first date movie "The Princess Bride" and Wii Music. I got him a model car, two model rockets, a tools to put those together. Rory got the best haul. We bought her several toys and about 18 books, we found them on sale. The inlaws got us sleeping bags.

Ry's birthday is coming up. I already have gotten him his gifts. I can reveal it here. I found the best deal on a golf club set for lefties. I am trying really hard to surprise him, it's been really difficult so far. He's taken me to Big 5 to look at golf club sets and talked on and on about it. I've been forced to tell him I have bought his gift and to not look too hard for it in our apartment. It's really hidden at his parents! Teehee! We're gonna go to the car show this weekend and next weekend he'll get them at his family Bday celebration. I'm such a good wifey. Enjoy the pics!